Rattlesnake Ridge. North Bend, WA

Have you ever waited oh so eagerly and patiently for something only to have your own scatterbrained mess of a brain mess it all up?

Well, I finally got all my new camera gear in. My new Fujifilm XM-1 mirrorless camera body looks spectacular. The lens? The vintage Canon FD 50mm 1.8 from my Canon AE-1 Program film camera. The missing piece? The FD to X mount adapter that I had been waiting ages for. Previously I had ordered it over a month ago hoping it would arrive in Seattle before I did but for whatever reason it didn't, so I had to re-order it. But when it came! I was itching to take it out for a test drive and see what my new setup could do.

I needed this hike to have all the elements I was looking for: a moderate hike to get me back in the game (hey, it's been awhile!), a good view, some form of water preferred, and to get me back out into the forest (goes without saying, right?).

Rattlesnake Ridge has been on my radar for quite some time now after seeing a handful of beautiful engagement shots there. I knew I had to go.

So off we went!

Luckily it wasn't too far off at only roughly a 30 to 40 minute drive away from our new home in Seattle. Jay and I eagerly set out for our weekend adventure (working weekday mornings has turned us into Weekend Warriors, whodathunk?) to North Bend.

Once we got there I eagerly broke out the camera, took a quick snap, when my heart dropped.

"Oh, no!"
"What happened?"
I looked up and I'm pretty sure I was pouting ridiculously at this point.

"I didn't charge the battery last night!" 

Typical. Jay just chuckled good-naturedly as he does. What could I do!? Keep going, obviously and break out the iPhone when I was really dying to take a shot.

The thing is, I was consistently in awe by this scenery. The hour, the lighting, the weather... it was perfect.

Nothing compares to forest lighting.

The baseball player stance on this one, I swear.

we kyute

Fog! Mountains! Golden Hour!

Sometimes you just have to accept that the camera isn't going to compare to the actual experience of being in the wilderness. 

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Thunderstorm Campouts and Summer Colds

I always try to look on the bright side and keep a positive outlook in every aspect of my life. Yeah, it's nice to be jolly but sometimes if things are rough you need to indulge and wallow, just for a little bit. Everyone can't be happy all of the time, right?

Last week was tough for me for some reason. I don't know if I've just been holding my composure for long enough that finally it just cracked or if last week was really just that much more difficult. For whatever reason I needed to just say enough.

So on my day off, I packed up my camping gear in my car without any real destination and ended up at Trillium Lake and Mt. Hood National Forest. It was a fairly hot day in Portland and it was incredibly nice to run away into the mountains to escape the heat. It was overcast and chilly, just how I like it. I walked the perimeter of Trillium Lake, breathing in the brisk air and instantly feeling at peace.

Afterwards I drove around until I found a campsite and set up my tent. It rained all night and thunder reverberated through my bones for a few hours until it finally settled into the constant downpour. I read beneath the light of my headlamp until sleep finally took over. 

Maybe camping out in a thunderstorm wasn't my best idea as now I have a summer cold and everyone's going around calling me 'Sniffles,' but I knew I needed to get away and do what helps me get centered best: be out in nature. A little cold seems a small price to pay for the experience.

Oneonta Gorge

Sometimes life can get you down. It can get hectic and you find yourself too exhausted to do the things you love.

This too shall pass.

Remember the good. Remember that the days you wont forget aren't the ones killing your feet over a dead end job with no future. That it isn't about the degree that's been gathering dust at your parents house back in the city you were born and raised in. It's not about the dwindling of your checkings and the snail pace at which your savings account grows.


The days I remember most are jam packed with good things and good people. I cut it close and cut into my sleep, tired and exhausted with heavy bags under my eyes but my muscles are sore, my skin is bronzed, hair is wild, eyes are bright and my grin is wide.

These are the days worth remembering that makes life worth living.

Last Thursday I met up with a great group of people for a hearty breakfast that we later hiked off through a 4 mile loop hike through the Triple Falls. We followed that hike with another hike through the Oneonta Gorge in which the river acts as the trail to your destination at the waterfall. It was a pretty spectacular sight to behold, not gonna lie.

Mt Hood National Forest + Bagby Hot Springs

As my journey to exploring all that Oregon has to offer continues, I am thrilled to have had Casey and Matthew (plus Yoda and Padawan!) join me on this trek. This week I ventured out to Mt. Hood National Forest in search of Bagby Hot Springs.

I can't express how wonderful it was to venture out into the Mt. Hood wilderness. Something about the turquoise waters, tall trees and brisk air felt like home. This was the wild that I was searching for and I'm pretty sure I'll be coming back here repeatedly over the course of this upcoming summer. I'm looking forward to it.

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LIVE AUTHENTIC || human in the wild

I have no qualms about admitting that I have suffered from debilitating anxiety in the past. Truth be told, two years ago I was in the midst of a breakdown that left my nerves shattered. A few key opportunities and large changes in my life were my saving grace, but sometimes the remnants of my anxiety-ridden brain still linger. Once your brain is hardwired to respond to certain triggers with anxiety it takes a lot to be able to retrain it not to react with stress.

Norepinephrine is better known as the hormone behind the fight or flight response. There was something going on in my life that was keeping me from making the choices that resonated with me that causes internal conflict. In psychology we call this cognitive dissonance. In essence, it means you are not living genuinely to your own subconscious standards and your brain starts to freak out. The  way I saw it, fight or flight hormone was being released at an above-average rate in my central nervous system, but there was nothing to fear or run from. So instead it was being directed into this internal turmoil within myself. It's hard to live a life in constant battle with yourself, you know?

I was tired, felt groggy, I remember vividly it being a hot August night in California and as I went out for a walk with my mother my body was literally shivering even though I could feel the damp sweat on my brow. My mother that night looked at me with that motherly gaze I'm sure we all know, a look of complete and utter acceptance, support, and love. She told me, "eres hija de la luna y las estrellas." You are the daughter of the moon and stars. Time and time again through hardships in my life I've looked to the stars and an absolute humbling sensation of irrelevance to the cosmos as a means of feeling grounded. I clung to those words like they were my lifeline, because they were.

But in order to feel grounded,  I eventually found I needed to return to the Earth. I took to hiking and exhausting my body through long treks and scenic vistas. There is something endlessly satisfying in feeling the strain in your muscles as you trek upwards and feel the sweat accumulate on your body as it's chilled by the cool breeze. This was what I had been searching for, a means of clearing out my head. When you're focused on nothing more than one step in front of the other, inhale exhale... you reach monotony in your thought process that clears your head, it's hard not to feel centered.

Some days I still awake with a thousand thoughts ransacking my scatterbrain and a weight in my chest that staggers my ability to breathe. On these days, I  hit the trail. Last week was no different. I've been working 6 days and it started to hit me that I really needed to just go. It's a desire to disappear, to get lost. Maybe not always geologically speaking, just to lose your thoughts if only temporarily. So I did. Maybe driving 1.5 hours to Hood River to do a 4 mile hike sounds nuts, but when my sanity is on the line it's not asking much.

So I took my time on this splendidly warm, beautiful day as I hiked to the vista point surrounded by wildflowers.

"It had only to do with how it felt to be in the wild. With what it was like to walk for miles for no reason other than to witness the accumulation of trees and meadows, mountains and deserts, streams and rocks, rivers and grasses, sunrises and sunsets. The experience was powerful and fundamental. It seemed to me that it had always felt like this to be a human in the wild, and as long as the wild existed it would always feel this way. "

-Cheryl Strayed, Wild

These photos were edited using the VSCO Film presets for Lightroom.

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