Thursday, September 30, 2010

There's thunder rumbling about outside my window and I feel childlike in my joy.

It's been a very long week for me. I started my new job last week while I was still working the remaining week at my old job so for awhile there I was juggling those two while my Dad was trying to push me to keep both while going to school! No worries there, I completely ignored him. This week classes started up properly and I'm reminded of why I ignored him; I'm exhausted! I hadn't realized just how very much so but even while I'm staring, shoulders shrugged, at the screen I can feel just how puffy and tired my eyes are, and my back is quite a bit sore as well.

I love my new school. It's what I have been waiting for, for three years, to be at a proper school with decent people and events. I went straightaway and bought myself a shirt, that's how excited I am. THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO. Literally, there's so much! Events left and right and never a dull moment, it's my home away from home now (which is reasonable, seeing as how I go to school 5 days a week as well as work there). The people are magnificent and I'm finally starting to be pleased with the sorts of people I'm surrounding myself with these days. Perhaps it's less much so the people and more the fact that I'm finally beginning to feel secure with myself, that I'm starting to be more of myself, perhaps? Regardless the reason, I'm overjoyed and quite a bit exhausted, really.

I'm trying to take care of myself more. I really am awful about watching what I eat so I might as well try to sweat it all out of my system. So I went out and fixed up my old bike, then decided I might as well try to get a decent road bike as well, and joined yet another kickboxing class. I'm rather pleased at myself for that...

Haven't had much time for photos, but I'm not bothered. I'm really trying to concentrate on my schoolwork moreso than ever, because maybe now it really means something. Now I actually feel like I'm working towards a goal, my B.A. in Psychology. Now if I could only choose my concentration...


Monday, September 20, 2010

Named after the nephew from The Fantastic Mr. Fox, original design by Erika Altosaar (although it didn't come out exactly like it, to my chagrin...), the original idea for the fox tattoo arose out of foxes in literature that I adore. Specifically, The Little Prince was the last straw for me, the final piece and reason that I could no longer ignore and once I saw Erika's fox I knew that was the image I had been searching for.The fox in The Little Prince teaches the prince the meaning of taming or friendship which is important to me in two senses. In the sense of taming a wild animal because the thoughts in my head oftentimes are so chaotic and jumbled that I require assistance in taming the storm in my mind. It's something I've struggled with because as opposed to attempting to figure it out on my own I continue to rely on others to aid me which ends up making a muck of things. In this sense, Kristofferson is a reminder to myself, to help myself.

Simply it being from The Little Prince is important to be for having shared it with Carlos, whom will always be important to me.

In the sense of friendship, Kristofferson is a symbol of all the great people and friendships that I have had in my life and their impact. Simple as that.

Excerpt from Le Petite Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery

"I am looking for friends. What does that mean–'tame'?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."
"'To establish ties'?"
"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world…"
"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower… I think that she has tamed me…"
So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure grew near–
"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."
"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you…"
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"It has done you no good at all!"
"It has done me good," said the fox, " because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added:
"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."
The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.
"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you–the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose."

And he went back to meet the fox.
"Goodbye," he said.
"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."
"It is the time I have wasted for my rose–" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.
"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose…"


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